Letting Go of ‘Getting It Right’: A New Take on Purpose

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Purpose.

For most of us, it feels like an elusive secret that everyone else has figured out—except us. With thousands of books, workshops, and coaches selling their “secret sauce” to help you live your destined purpose, it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.

If you can’t tell yet, I’ve got opinions about this.

Somewhere along the way, humans decided that if you were going to fulfill your purpose, it had to be your job. You need to be paid for your purpose, or… well, you’re just not living your purpose.

I used to believe this too.

Surprise!: It’s a lie.

But before we go down that rabbit hole, let’s break down what purpose even is.

Google tells me purpose is “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” But I like to think of purpose as what we’re meant to do or be as a spiritual being having a human experience.

Maybe your purpose is to take care of people, teach them, inspire them, or change them. Maybe you’re here to stir up some chaos—create enough discomfort to spark change, whether on a local or global scale. Or maybe your purpose is to create and invent things that change the course of humanity. The possibilities are endless.

But here’s the catch—how we express that purpose is where things get real.

Express Yourself

We’ve been told that to live a purposeful life, our jobs must reflect our deepest passions. And yeah, maybe it is.

Maybe you’re a schoolteacher, a nurse, an influencer (seriously, who saw that becoming a legit career path?). Maybe you’re the type of politician who pisses people off enough to make them demand change. Or maybe you’re an inventor pushing the boundaries of how cars are made and sold. Perhaps you’re an artist, musician, or storyteller moving the hearts and minds of the masses.

But purpose doesn’t need to be monetized or labeled as a career—it can live quietly in the ways we show up for others and ourselves.

I’m talking about the person in the family who checks in on everyone, remembers birthdays, and sends random messages to remind people that they’re loved, important, and not alone.

Or the person grinding away at a desk job 60 hours a week (killing it, by the way) who makes time to coach little league and teaches the kids about teamwork, healthy competition, and how to fail (losing a game) with grace and get back up to try again.

Or the one who waits tables at night, takes classes by day, and juggles family duties in between doing all of this just to try to create a better life than the one they had and show their kids that hard work does pay off.

Hell, maybe you’re someone deciding to break generational patterns, refusing to follow the script you were handed, and choosing to do life on your own damn terms and being a courageous example to anyone watching.

The Purpose Trap

Scroll through Instagram, TikTok, or listen to your favorite “guru,” and they’ll all say the same thing in different ways: “Follow your passion, and purpose will follow.” Or something equally nauseating.

Then there’s the whole “fake it ‘til you make it” thing, with people posting their glitzy lives under hashtags like #dreamlife, #noexcuses, or #grinddontstop. You get the gist.

Looking for a book on the subject? Just type in “books about purpose” on Amazon and good luck picking from the thousands of options.

Here’s the kicker: Too many of us are conditioned to follow what other people—parents, teachers, bosses—say we should do.

We ask others what we’re good at, cross-check it with what we think we’re good at, and then try to match it with what we like doing.

Well-intentioned? Sure. But we humans have a terrible habit of using the same thinking to find new solutions. If we’ve been off-track so far, how the hell is the same thinking going to get us on a new track?

I can’t even count the number of hours I’ve wasted on this. The endless analysis. Asking people for their opinions. The books I’ve read. The courses and workshops I’ve paid for. Did I mention I have four different coaching certifications and more training certificates than I can count on both hands? So I’ve got some experience with this. It’s a racket.

How to Live a Life of Purpose

Now that I’ve completely shat all over the “find your purpose” industry (sorry, friends), let’s talk about how you actually can live a life with purpose.

Let’s start with a simple question: What did you love doing when you were younger? Before society got its hands on you and molded you into this version of yourself you might secretly (or not-so-secretly) despise?

Take a moment to remember those activities or passions. Now, here’s the fun part: Experiment with them again. Yes, experiment. It’s not about getting it right; it’s about exploring.

Whether it’s taking a class, joining a group, or simply trying something new, there’s a wealth of free content and opportunities at your fingertips.

Try a free piano lesson on YouTube. Grab a friend and attend a paint night. Miss the theater? Volunteer at a local venue and see if that spark still exists.

As you experiment, pause and reflect. What excites you? What challenges you in a way that feels invigorating? These are the moments that can guide you toward purpose. From there, you might decide to dive deeper into one of these activities or keep it as a fun hobby. Both are valid, and both are expressions of purpose.

Once you’ve explored to your heart’s content—and yes, it may take some time, even years—and you feel ready, ask yourself: Do you want to take any of this further?

Maybe you’ll start creating meditation music on as a side hustle. Perhaps you’ll sell your artwork at a local market. Or maybe you’ll start a blog to write about things you care about (like this one!).

Or maybe you’ll decide that your passion is perfect just as it is—a hobby that adds joy to your life, without the pressure of turning it into something more. And that’s perfectly okay too. Sometimes, purpose is simply found in the small, fulfilling ways we live our lives every day.

Life is an Experiment

To live a purpose-filled life, you’ve got to do what excites your soul and feeds your spirit—while also managing the boring shit society tells you is necessary. We all need to pay bills, buy food, and get the basics in this capitalistic world. I get it… it sucks.

But living life as an experiment? That changes everything.

When you see life as a series of choices, not right or wrong answers, it becomes more exciting. Every decision is an opportunity to learn and grow.

And yeah, I really mean that.

What feeds your soul today might not be the same tomorrow. It will evolve, and that’s perfectly okay. Change is the only constant in life. When we resist that change, that’s when we suffer.

The more I embrace trying new things, following what excites me, and experimenting with life, the happier and more fulfilled I feel. I feel more “on purpose.” I find myself asking less and less, “What am I supposed to do with my life?” and more often thinking, “Damn, I get to live this life?!”

Because at the end of the day, life isn’t meant to be figured out—it’s meant to be lived.

Your Purpose, Your Way

Here’s the truth: purpose isn’t a destination. It’s not something you “find” once and then check off your life’s to-do list. It’s a living, breathing part of you that shifts as you grow, evolve, and uncover new parts of yourself.

Maybe your purpose is to be present for the people you love. Maybe it’s to pursue a dream that keeps whispering in your ear, no matter how impractical it seems. Or maybe it’s just to enjoy the fleeting, messy, beautiful experience of being alive. Whatever it is, it’s yours—and that’s what makes it meaningful.

So let go of the pressure to “get it right.” Start where you are, follow what lights you up, and trust that each experiment, each step, is part of the greater purpose you’re already living.

Because at the end of the day, purpose isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about rediscovering the magic of who you already are.

Now go live. And don’t forget to savor it.